Fall is here, finally.
I drove home from work yesterday marvelling at the glorious orange and red hues lit up by determined rays of sun bursting out of an otherwise black, rainy fall sky. My neighbour’s soya and corn fields are ready to be harvested. School busses are once again delaying my morning commute to work. We don’t need to mow our lawn as frequently. We enjoyed our first small fire of the season in our woodstove; the small mugsly heat-seeking dog blissfully panted her fool head off three inches from the flames. I’ve traded in my much-loved flip flops for warmer sneakers and I’m cozying up in flannel pjs in the evening.
It’s my favourite season; a time of great beauty, many homey comforts, and change. I’m glad for fall right now; I feel like a new cycle, a new season, is needed in my life.
My last post was a long list of downers. It’s been a very challenging summer. K’s dad, my father-in-law, passed away at the age of 75, from complications due to cancer. His story is probably a whole other post to tell it properly, but suffice it to say his passing was quite fast; thankfully so, but also heartbreakingly so. We all miss him very much. In a completely different league, but still difficult, little Molly is almost definitely gone and work has just about sucked the very last little ounce of joie de vivre out of me.
So it’s time to renew, I think. I think things are starting to get a bit lighter, but that there’s still a bit of a crust that needs to be shaken off me… Some good things are happening, which is helping.
I had a fairly significant birthday this year: I turned 30 about 2 weeks ago. K spoiled me rotten (hello, new laptop for school ZOMG). My experience with newly 30-somethings is that they are usually in some state of denial or anger or depression. I can truthfully say that 30 feels like a really good fit for me; I’m actually kind of glad for it. It feels like a turning point, a milestone, a time for change (did I mention that I feel like I need change? ‘Cause yeah, I need it). As much as a part of me fears that I am trying to claw back my 20′s (um, yeah, going back to vis-a-vis the “back to school” thing) I feel like I’m making a very adult decision about my career path. I’ve decided that “good enough” really isn’t, and that I need a career I feel passionate about in order to be fulfilled. And gosh darn it, I deserve to be fulfilled (extra props and brownie points for my amazing wife who is willing to put up with me being a student, AGAIN, and changing jobs, AGAIN, and having a very unpredictable schedule, AGAIN). I need this to be happy, so I’m doing it. So there.
On that note, I found out I’m meeting my future advisor in person next week to talk more about the dreamy-cool research project I’ll be working on. He wants me to meet his students and see his lab up and running and participate in a seminar group (*does little happy dance of academe-induced geekiness*). All I’m waiting for now is the official “yes” letter from the University. Then I can exhale.
Anyhoo, lots more going on but that’s all I have in me for today.