The Bug Geek

Insects. Doing Science. Other awesome, geeky stuff.

A true love story

Last week Ted got me thinking about my former life as a (how did he put it?) “disenchanted public servant”.  Yep, that was me.

My posts from those days paint a picture of me as:  1) often in a pissy mood and 2) often using potty-mouth (highly correlated to the pissyness according to my calculations P<0.001).   I was MAD a lot of the time.  At the very least highly aggravated.  Certainly much displeased.  Oh, and bored.  Bored Bored Bored with a capitol “B”.   

But now…now I am a student, and everything is shiny and new and sparkly.  My time is largely my own to manage.  I haven’t felt this “at home”, professionally, in years.  I’m feeling inspired.  I have a million things I want to do, and a bajillion ideas running around my head all demanding my attention.  All the “hobbies” (i.e., the stuff that actually really turns my crank intellectually) that I’d abandoned in the past five years are screaming for my attention.  My brain is so gosh-darn FIRED UP AND BUZZING I can hardly stand it (who’m I kidding, yes I sure can!)  

Truth be told, I’m in love.  For serious. 

Swoony, heart-beat-skippy, can’t-sleep-or-eat-ey, thoughts utterly consumed-ey, passionately, madly, unreasonably in love.

With school.   I’m in love with being back at school.

Yes, ok, I hear you (“WEIRD”), yes it’s weird, but I can’t think of another way to describe these feelings…

Right now, school is the most wonderfully magnificent thing on the planet.  It can do no wrong.  Every day is a beautiful adventure.  I feel important and needed and valued.  We were MADE for each other.  I’ll feel like this forever.   It’s, like, totally freaking groovy.


But I know that, after some time has passed and we’re out of the honeymoon stage, things won’t look quite the same way.

Demands of my time  might start to feel a little, um, a little needy.  The windowless lab with poor climate control…well, maybe a move to a nicer neighbourhood might be in order (you know, a place with a yard and A/C? And it wouldn’t hurt to decorate a little).  The reading, writing and paperwork will pile up; (a little “me” time might be nice every now and then, you know).   Funding sources may change (would it really kill you if YOU paid once in a while???). 

The annoying habits and quirky tendencies…soon enough these will become apparent, and I’ll come crashing back to earth.

But you know…

I feel like this is one of those rare relationships that will survive the shattering of the “in-love” delusion, and we’ll settle down into something comfy and respectful and lasting.   Something mutually beneficial, and utterly satisfying.  In spite of…no, INCLUDING…all the warts.

*Siiiiggghh* 😉


(Don’t worry, darling wife, you’re still my Favourite!)

5 responses to “A true love story

  1. Ted C. MacRae February 14, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    I SO miss academia – at least the version of it I experienced so many years ago. I’m fortunate that my professional life has retained a bit of the flavor – interacting daily with pretty much nothing but really smart people – although the pace is quite a bit faster than this likes-to-toodle-and-doddle sort of guy is really comfortable with.

    Best of luck, and keep havin’ fun!

  2. christie February 14, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    No no, not weird at all. I totally get it. When you’re stagnating and bored and hating what you’re doing, it just really sucks. When I went back to school, I was in love too. in love with the textbooks and the notebooks and the writing of papers and the learning of new things……Yea. I totally get it.

  3. Morgan Jackson February 15, 2010 at 8:43 PM

    I’ll join you in the grad school/research love song! But no fears, although the stress goes up and the money goes down, all it takes is one good new species, one good new analysis, or one good new paper to make me realize why I love this life, even after almost 3 years!

  4. Pingback: Fall To Climb

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: