Last week Ted got me thinking about my former life as a (how did he put it?) “disenchanted public servant”. Yep, that was me.
My posts from those days paint a picture of me as: 1) often in a pissy mood and 2) often using potty-mouth (highly correlated to the pissyness according to my calculations P<0.001). I was MAD a lot of the time. At the very least highly aggravated. Certainly much displeased. Oh, and bored. Bored Bored Bored with a capitol “B”.
But now…now I am a student, and everything is shiny and new and sparkly. My time is largely my own to manage. I haven’t felt this “at home”, professionally, in years. I’m feeling inspired. I have a million things I want to do, and a bajillion ideas running around my head all demanding my attention. All the “hobbies” (i.e., the stuff that actually really turns my crank intellectually) that I’d abandoned in the past five years are screaming for my attention. My brain is so gosh-darn FIRED UP AND BUZZING I can hardly stand it (who’m I kidding, yes I sure can!)
Truth be told, I’m in love. For serious.
Swoony, heart-beat-skippy, can’t-sleep-or-eat-ey, thoughts utterly consumed-ey, passionately, madly, unreasonably in love.
With school. I’m in love with being back at school.
Yes, ok, I hear you (“WEIRD”), yes it’s weird, but I can’t think of another way to describe these feelings…
Right now, school is the most wonderfully magnificent thing on the planet. It can do no wrong. Every day is a beautiful adventure. I feel important and needed and valued. We were MADE for each other. I’ll feel like this forever. It’s, like, totally freaking groovy.
But I know that, after some time has passed and we’re out of the honeymoon stage, things won’t look quite the same way.
Demands of my time might start to feel a little, um, a little needy. The windowless lab with poor climate control…well, maybe a move to a nicer neighbourhood might be in order (you know, a place with a yard and A/C? And it wouldn’t hurt to decorate a little). The reading, writing and paperwork will pile up; (a little “me” time might be nice every now and then, you know). Funding sources may change (would it really kill you if YOU paid once in a while???).
The annoying habits and quirky tendencies…soon enough these will become apparent, and I’ll come crashing back to earth.
But you know…
I feel like this is one of those rare relationships that will survive the shattering of the “in-love” delusion, and we’ll settle down into something comfy and respectful and lasting. Something mutually beneficial, and utterly satisfying. In spite of…no, INCLUDING…all the warts.
(Don’t worry, darling wife, you’re still my Favourite!)